Tips for year 7's ....
A popular subject on social. We've searched far and wide to give year 7's the best hints and tips ahead of their first year at Comprehensive School...
Claire's tip - No matter if there's a hurricane, monsoon, earthquake, the school has blown away, there will always be PE
Leigh - Don't get pushed into a river on your way to school. (It happened to him...)
- Try not to touch underneath a table in class. Guaranteed to touch something unwelcoming.
- The adverts are all lies - girls don't go crazy for Lynx #tipsforyear7s
- DO NOT APPROACH OR ASK DIRECTIONS FROM YEAR 10 OR 11 STUDENTS
- Your choice of carrier bag for your pe kit will define you as a person
- Don't post anything on Facebook until around year 9, you'll thank me later
- It's not socially acceptable for your mum or dad to stand at the gates to pick you up, simply walk to the car or get the bus
- For the love of god try with every fibre of your being to AVOID a scene/emo phase. or just get it over and done with quickly
- Learn your parents signature like your life depends on it. because it does.
- STOP RUNNING EVERYWHERE. YOUR CLASS ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE.
- Always carry a friend with you to run the hand dryer whilst you have a wee because those girls WILL laugh if they hear you
- A supply teacher = freedom. You now have a new identity. Your name is not Josh, it is now Adam. Take advantage
- Make a sensible email address now
- You'll need a bag that's about the same size as you
- Don't dye your hair or wear bracelets or wear a coat that isn't uniform because it ruins yours and everyone else's education
- Bunsen Burners are for burning everything in sight except what you are supposed to be burning
- The dj button on the keyboard every 5 seconds I promise your music teacher will love you
- If you get soaked on the way to school, you will sit in it all day. They won't let you go home. There's always the option of lost and found clothes but we're pretty sure they're from the 70's.
- If you know there will be a bleep test, SKIP THE LESSON, DEAR GOD SKIP THE LESSON THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN A BLEEP TEST
- If you hear the words "bleep test" then you have 0.2 seconds to fake an injury
- If you hear the words "bleep test", find the nearest sledgehammer immediately and use it to break both your legs
- If you hear the words "bleep test" fall into a coma and do it fast
Good luck year 7's - take these with a pinch of salt ...